My name is Caroline, and I am the author of this online ministry/ these articles. And this is a short testimony of how I came to know God and Jesus:
I was born/grew up in a Christian home, so I have always known of The God of the Bible and his Book, the Bible. I had two loving parents and a sister, so life was good. However, I began showing sign of mental illness around 2-4 years old, specifically autism, but later at around 5-6 years old I suddenly stopped talking at school in 1st grade.
My mom at first thought this was wonderful: that I was being polite and even won an award for being so 'polite' but as time went on, she realized that it was more than just that and became very concerned about me. She took me out of that school and began to take me to a bunch of physiatrists trying to figure out what was wrong with me: I was eventually diagnosed with selective mutism: a rare isolation disorder where someone can’t talk out of extreme anxiety in certain situations:
Sadly, my certain situation was being anywhere in public around non-family and even being around my dad’s side of my family (since my dad sort of kept me away from his side of the family). I didn’t speak a word to anyone else, I only spoke to my mom’s side of my family which only included my mom, grandma, grandad, nephew, sister, and uncle. Since the treatment for selective mutism was very expensive and very far away my mom didn’t pursue it, and I continued to suffer from the condition for many more years. Though, I was very mentally (and somewhat physically) sick as a child I still was very happy in my ignorance but unknowingly missed out on a lot of socializing and activities. I had a bad problem, and no one really was able or even knew how to help me.
When I was in 5th grade, I try to go to public school to try to break free from the silence and become a normal kid and gain friends, so I pushed to go to public school; but my mom begged me and highly suggested for me to not go because it was not for me, but I stubbornly and ignorantly insisted.
So, my mom tried everything to get me into public school she warned me it was different, and I shouldn’t go there, but since I was (stubbornly) determined to go she pushed on. She took me to all types of counselors; she wanted to make sure I would be in a special class safe away from the other kids, however one guidance Counselor said, “she won't like the special classes; it’ll be too easy for her: send her to the normal classes.” then they assured her there would always be someone watching me to make sure I was okay. My mom agreed and they got me to repeat the 5th grade to try out the elementary public school:
While at first, I tried my very best to talk and make friends, however as time went on, I feel back into silence because I just was soo overcome with anxiety and stopped talking: and unlike what the school Counselor promised, there was nobody sent to watch me and I was left alone (for the most part) in my classes: in response to me not talking to anybody in school, I began to be bullied and tormented horribly by the other students: my hope for public school turn into a horrible nightmare. As I went into middle school it just got worser and each day was filled with torture: I was the school's unofficial punching bag and pretty much everyone (well a lot of the students: even a few teacher at times) took their turn mocking me, and even was physically assaulted sometimes: my mom constantly went up to the school demanding something be done but they pretty much just ignored her: I regretted ever going to middle school this went on for 3 1/2 years: Finally during the winter break during 8th grade I refused to go back after the break because the situation was soo bad: and my mom got me into an online school for the rest of 8th grade so I would never have to go back:
but right after I ran away from that public school, that's when God miraculously healed me from my selective mutism one day. At age 15 I began to talk in public (and eventually to my dad's side of the family) for the first time in almost 10 years. However, I found out I had been socially isolated for so long that the world was a very strange place to me and worse I often did not get many social cues. Seeing I was healed from my sickness I wanted to give my life to God he was able to help me when nobody else could and he never gave up on me. So, I decided to finish my salvation and got baptized to completely dedicate the rest of my life to living for Jesus/God. Once I got baptized and began to learn how to live a Christian life, I then wondered how I should best serve God to do his will. Since I have been told I would be a great teacher, I wanted to try to be a preacher but wasn't so sure God wanted me to do that. So, for a while, I wondered what God wanted me to do; but the problem was I had no real idea of what he wanted me to do, until one day I had a very strange dream that stuck out to me:
The dream about the hidden Pearl
One night around the year 2013/2014 I had a dream where I was diving in a deep lake and all these pearls were swirling around in a circle in what looked like a current in the water, but I dove down past them to the bottom of the lake and began to uncover a pearl hidden underneath the sand: it looked like it had been hidden for a long time. I grabbed this pearl and immediately swam up to the surface where a man in a boat was waiting on me, so I gave him the pearl and immediately woke up.
The next day I went to tell my family about this strange dream, but when I went to tell my grandma right after finishing the story, she had a very interesting comment that caught my attention "That hidden pearl you found is the deep truths of God that you will find" I was really shocked It was just another dream, right? I knew God could communicate through dreams (especially symbolic dreams) at times as the Bible sometimes says: could he have been trying to communicate something to me through this dream? I thought about that dream a lot, but several months after having this dream, I did begin to receive revelations of truth from different sources, I wasn't openly supernatural but the way I felt led towards specific truths of the Bible I had never heard before was very amazing if not even a little miraculous. I learned truths concerning God's holy nation Israel, what happens after death along with many more things. I eventually began to write these things down but strongly felt like I should share them with others: but how?
I then looked towards different mediums I could use to get this information out: there was of course audible preaching in public and also as a recording on a video (that I didn't feel was quite right; at least for me), but then there was writing it down (like it already was) but then there were all different ways to get that writing out: there was in a book, in a flyer, and on the web. I eventually decided since the web is a popular medium for today and especially for publishing information that I would be perfect. And so, I began writing what I learned down, and more information came to me as I was led into truth, eventually I decided to start this web ministry in the fall of 2020 I officially published this site and have been steadily adding onto it ever since and hope it continues to grow and show Biblical truth.
So today, I am convinced that this dream was God's way of telling me this is what he wants me to do, so I try to obey him in pressing on to get all my articles I have written over the years onto this website. And every day from what I now know I try to live a life which pleases God.